


Coitus Interuptus

by CrimsonKat



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Torchwood
Genre: Bad date, Cockblocking, F/M, Interrupted Date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-05-10
Packaged: 2020-02-29 17:04:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18782458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrimsonKat/pseuds/CrimsonKat
Summary: Have you ever wished that someone would save you from a bad date? Hermione's peptalk to herself to get through the date bled onto Jack's psychic paper.





	Coitus Interuptus

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Isabel, Nathaniel, and Red for your looksee on this is.

The date was going badly. The guy she agreed to meet was a total knob and she felt stuck and compelled to listen to his machioism. She promised she would give her date a chance, rolling her eyes and kicking herself for that promise now. 

Staring at herself in the mirror and giving herself a pep talk was not helping, might as well go face the music. With a resigned sigh she opened the bathroom door and returned to the restaurant dining area. 

Kevin smiled, “I was beginning to think you ghosted me.” 

“No,” she plastered on her best sincere fake smile, “still stuck with me.” Or me with you as it were. 

“There you are!” Came the half shout from across the dining room, and a strange man strolled towards her as though he'd known her forever. “Get started without me, why don't you.” He held his hand atop hit chest in mock hurt. 

“I didn't think you were coming,” she said slowly, feeling Kevin's eyes on her and trying to hide her shocked confusion. Then the stranger winked, and she couldn't stop the smile that lifted her lips. If it saved her from this disaster date, she'd play along.

“I told you I would, and so I did. I can't leave you to interview this poor sod on your own.” 

She laughed, looks like this date wasn't going to be all bad after all. Kevin who? Hermione relaxed, curious to know where this would lead. 

“Now,” the stranger continued, “is he better than last weeks candidate?” He pulled out the chair beside her and took a seat. 

She leaned into the stranger's side and in a stage whisper said, “uncertain, we haven't gotten to the tough questions yet.” 

“Ooh. I do love the tough questions.” His finger quotes around tough were priceless. “I do say, he doesn't look much like the type to enjoy whips and chains though.” 

She cocked her head to the side and eyed her date. “A little too alpha male to be a sub. Perhaps a blindfold and riding crop are more his style.” 

“I was thinking handcuffs and a crop, but I like your style.” 

“What in the..” Kevin began. 

The stranger put a finger over Kevin's lips, “shhh, mummy and daddy are talking now.” 

Kevin's eyes looked as though they wanted to bulge out of his head and his face turned red as a tomato. The stranger turned to Hermione, held out his hand and introduced himself, “Jack.” 

“Hermione,” she shook his hand. 

“Lovely to meet you Hermione. Now what should we do with alpha douche here? I don't think he wants to play our game anymore.” 

“You know, I don't think he was ever going to want to play with us.” It should have shocked her how easy the banter with Jack came to her. For the first time tonight a genuine smile graced her lips as she took in the man before her, he was nothing extraordinary, just your average bloke, but his aura spoke volumes and she couldn't help liking him. 

Kevin slammed his napkin on the table rattling the cutlery as he stood knocking his chair to the floor. “Is this a game you two play on unsuspecting men? Invite me out just to make me the butt of some joke.” 

“Easy there old boy, our lady here was in a bit of distress…”

“And you thought you'd just stroll on in and rescue her.”

Jack glanced at Hermione, “actually, I think she could have saved herself, but this was more fun.”

“How did you know?” Hermione asked. 

Jack help up a scrap of paper, “psychic paper,” he leaned in against her ear, “your mind is very loud by the way.” Jack left the lightest ghost kiss upon her skin as he pulled away. 

Hermione looked at Kevin, “it's been fun, but it's time for you to go.” 

Kevin sputtered and looked as though he may spontaneously combust before stomping his way out of the restaurant. 

Hermione giggled watching, not sure how she'd explain this later and not caring either. Turning her full attention to her new companion, “so, psychic paper. What else does it tell you.” 

Jack looked down at the paper she was fingering and nearly blushed. Jack gently took her hand and brought it to his mouth kissing it. “Captain Jack Harkness, at your pleasure.”


End file.
